How To Survive Christmas Traffic

If you haven't already done your Christmas shopping, you will know what I am talking about; miles of cars and trucks sitting in traffic in the hope of getting a parking space outside a shopping center to buy your last Christmas items.

Option 1 - Put your car in first gear all the way to the shops and like millions of other consumers being slowly driven to slavery, suffer in silence; you will damage your car's gearbox, spend more petrol, spend all your money when you finally get to the shopping centre, slowly drive home again and when you get home complain about the whole shopping experience to your partner (especially when you realise you have forgotten something and will have to go back the next day); be careful, this could end up in a divorce (who wants to spend the whole evening listening to your complaints?).

Option 2 - Get everything online. It is easier to compare prices and everything will come to your door. Not the best option if you are a late shopper, in order to get everything in before Christmas, you should probably have ordered in November or at the latest, in the first week of December. For your food, use either delivery services or go to your local grocery store.

Option 3 - Stay home. You can act as a Christmas grinch, not buy any presents for anyone, no Christmas cards, no special lovely Christmas food and pretend that you are trying to set up a new fashion! Be ready to lose friendships and be hated by your family and neighbours (especially children).

Option 4 - Break a leg on Christmas Eve or if you are pregnant, try to plan it so you will give birth on Christmas Eve, lucky you, you don't even need to break anything else than water! You will spend Christmas day in a hospital bed, won't have to cook or buy presents, you will be visited by all your loved ones who will hopefully bring you some gifts and get well cards. You can always decide to have an after-Christmas party when you get home: traffic will be lighter and everything will be on sale!

Of course you can also walk or take public transport, I was just trying to be funny. I experienced Christmas traffic this morning for the last time (for 2007 anyway) so now I can make fun of people like you who still have Christmas shopping to do!